It’s been a hot minute since I’ve written a blog post or even gone out and taken photos. It’s a frustrating feeling when you know you should be doing something yet you can’t get motivated enough to do it or life seems to just get in the way at every corner. In the past few months making a post or going and taking photos has been on my mind quite often yet every time I would think about it I would try to immediately forget it. I think the problem there lays in my issues with committing to certain things. I’m the type of person that will get super motivated about something one moment and then the next I’d had forgotten completely what it was I was getting motivated about in the first place. There are pros and cons to having this sort of mentality, such as you get to try out a lot of different things, which is always exciting, but you never stick with it long enough to see it through or excel in anything. This blog was supposed to change that for me. I wanted to finally see something through for once. Which is why after I had stopped taking photos and posting blogs I began to feel guilty about neglecting it. This IS something that I wanted but now I was too lazy or unmotivated to pursue it, yet again.
Over the past few months now I’ve mainly been working lots or drawing lots; with some beaches and hikes thrown in there a few times. It has been an average few months with more downs than ups but I have nothing to complain about because all those days have brought me to this moment. A moment of realization that I can still pursue something that I’ve been wanting for years, even though I’ve tried to forget about it. When I think back to all the times I wanted to post and then wouldn’t because everyone on my Facebook or Instagram would think that I’m just a phony blogger or some below average “photographer” who thinks she’s better than she really is, I really just want to know why? Why would I even care? This isn’t for anyone else but me (but really if you liked my blog I appreciate it, there’s not much to it). I know that it hasn’t been anyone else getting in my way, it’s only been me thinking that others would actually care and judge me for my lack of commitment, even so, I’ve lost interest in always trying to appeal to everyone else and losing out on what I want in the process. And now with that thought, I’ve decided to start back up, because why the fuck not. I’ve got no one to impress but myself.
Another reason that I’ve been wanting to start writing again is that I’m going to be packing up and going to Bali in 15 days. This is going to be the first trip outside of B.C. (besides a short road trip to Calgary a few years ago) that I’ve actually been old enough to remember. I’ve booked accommodation for four weeks and then after that, I’m on my own. I have a lot of friends and know a lot of people who have taken off abroad for months at a time and I’m very much looking forward to coming home with my own stories and experiences. That is if I decide to come home at all (ha-ha just kidding dad). I have a plan to keep a journal but then figured I could also make some posts here along the way and keep friends and family that aren’t on Instagram updated.
So basically, if you’re reading this right now and made it through that self-loathing/epiphany stage, stay tuned for some pretty above average posts and even more above average pictures of neat things in Bali.